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It hurts
In the last 3 days I burnt my bank account. It hurts, it hurts a lot. In the last month I was very distracted during trading and in the last days I payed the bill. What hurts is that I could have easily evoid it, if I had traded concentrated and if I hadn't chase my losses. In HR few days ago I started with a series of 3 losses and instead of giving a break I increased my stake and I backed an horse at 1,13 with 2 stakes before the last jump aware but just on paper.. that i was behind with the broadcast. The horse felt down and I lost 30% of my bank account. I enter in the wrong moment (before the last jump), risking too much (according to my money management) and thinking back also the odds I backed was not so value: 1,13. After this I decided to give a long brake to HR and to concentrate on tennis and football were I am more "expert" and were i have more consistency. Today I decided to trade football international friendly games (what a good idea!!). I started well, then I got lost. I enter during a corner thinking that was a goal kick, I tryed to lay in cross market but too low, so nobody took my lay. 5 second later I saw the ladder red, and my money gone. I felt stupid, to save 1,2 euro I lost much much more. Is it the end of the story? No!! I decided to keep trading although I clearly was not concentrated and I i started to chase my losses thinking that I would start good the month. I took a short break, washed my face, ate some chocolate and I gave another "trial", I did some good moves, I felt satisfied then I got lost again, totally. I enter the market checking the minutes and the odd, I decided it was value, I entered, without realizing that there was a corner and straight away I saw the ladder red. My bank is gone. I have not too many word to describe how i feel. For the first time since I trade I cried. It hurt and also to share my stupidity hurt but that's the way to go through, to make an auto analysis, without excuses. I traded bad, actually I just did mistakes and instead of stop trading I chased my losses. Since I started to trade (2009) I felt that if i'm not there with my mind I have no chance to profit. In the last week my body was in front of the pc, my eyes watching the monitor and the ladder but my mind was not there. I payed the billl and now I will give a break, I will clear my mind and I will restart from the beginning. I have little time as I want to trade europe 2012, just a week to clear up my mind, find again my focus, my discipline and my energy.
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Yea, it hurts sometimes and maybe you should carry out some additional analysis just as I did tonight after an unpleasant 90 dollars loss. Thought initially that betting would be fine, but it turned out to be a real ordeal
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Is it the first you beat the dust? the only positive thing you can take by the situation : feel well the taste of dust, feel it deeply for not wanting to eat more.Comment
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Hardest thing in trading is discipline. When the adrenaline kicks in its even harder. Keep your bank modest. It will grow on its own if you've found your edge. It feels bad enough to fail let alone loose a hefty bank. Lots of us have been there. I've lost count of the number of times I've given up but after a long break come back better. I'd advise a good break and forget the deadlines. There are limitless trading opportunities ahead and patients is another essential quality for a trader. Best of luck to you.
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By default I'm a quite discipline guy (although I never liked the rules I tend to follow them). As we well know in trading discipline and risk management are a must because before being able to generate a consistent profit the first target for any trader is to survive in the market.What I'm realizing is that I've being trading in the last period with fear. I was afraid to make wrong moves on one side and I was greedy on the other, very destructive combination.
Having obliged myself to stay away from markets for a while i had more time for reading and I decided to have a careful read of "trading in the zone". I realized that if I don't change the way I perceive losses I will not get a real winning attitude, as time by time fear of making losses will come back to ask for the bill. For sure my view and my perception of markets and markets opportunities are by far different from the moment i started trading, but still my mind set is not the one of the winning traders, and on this crucial aspect I'll invest time and effort, more than in growing my bank, as it will be a direct natural consequence in case I'll step up. The day i will feel totally comfortable and focus after even a row of trading that were losses, I will ready, I will be in the Olympus of the traders. At the moment I'm still fighting with myself (my fears) and with the markets (as sometimes I get angry if the market doesn't behave as I expected), but i feel that is coming the moment that I must fully and deeply accept the risk related with any trade I put (as there is no sure outcome) and restart with the curiosity and energy i had the first time i enter a market without even knowing what does it mean "lay".Comment
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I also am intending to read one more time trading in the zone and also the disciplinet trader which i havent already read. Fear is the biggest downward factor in trading. But as it was posted in one of the upper posts, trading modest, and letting your edge speak it for you, that is the right path. My own downward obstacle is usually focusing on money, and thinking of my self as making nice money in the future. Dont try to project yourself in the future with big money but just live day by day and make all joys of life, and beside it all trade, trade everytime just for that time and dont bother with the money building it will biuld by itself if you trade the way you can and are capable of. Thats my advice, although you are probably far more experienced than me
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I found chucks blog to be quite helpful in giving me motivation to carry on after pissing 90% of my bank up the wall while on tilt....
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