my nightmare

[valve]

Yes, really nice example indeed , me too, as I spend half-life with Diablo I, II, ... and Half-life too now I see a positive of this investment .

[Cran]

I have a diablo III mouse mat

(was the cheapest one in the shop)

Haven't tried Diablo III game though as it will either be a waste of £30 or it will waste the next 2 years of my life... not sure which is worse...

[custard]

I've never played any games. I have , however, had lots of sex and drink. Have I missed much, please ?

[Nikol]

I've never played any games. I have , however, had lots of sex and drink. Have I missed much, please ?

So you say that if I played games I've missed the sex and drinks ? Not exactly But surely games helped me for a couple of ten tousands of pounds which I am making in the moment
PS. Well my time for the games is passed too. Like Cran I wont start Diablo III. I don't have time for it now (I am playing another game - lets face it - trading is not different then a comp game )

[Morgans Choice]

trading is not different then a comp game )

Hi N.,

this is exactly what gives me such a kick about trading, the competition. I can no longer compete at cricket, football, etc., but I can compete against the best traders trying their best and if I come out ahead at the end of the day, for me, it is a victory, but win or lose the competitive urge is quelled,

cheers, MC

[flok]

hi guys, i write again in this old discussion.

the year is just finished, and, like about other things, its time to think also about the trading year: events, mistakes to not repeat, good things and bad things, good or bad experiences that can be somehow useful.

as many of you know, this is my 5th year of part-time betfair trading.
the result of the first year was precisely zero. no win, no losses.
i took it as a year of school, trying different sports, different markets, systems, reading everything about trading.
let's say that this year covered the first 2 steps of the famous 5 steps we talked about in another topic.

the second year: eureka, i closed it in profit.
nothing that make people rich, but always that kind of profit that allows you to buy some things easily and make some travels that otherwise you'd have thought about much longer.

third year: tweaking the system, adapting, trying to slowly increase the stakes.
everything ok, apart some lacks of discipline that led me to high losses.
anyway, profit was almost double than the first year.


THIS YEAR: january-march everything great, i had half of the profit that i made during the whole previous year. so i started to think that i had reached the 5th step: the Zone, the profits in autopilot in every market in every time etc.
this was where the disaster started: i greatly increased the stakes, but i wasnt ready to handle such an amount of money and at the same time stopping my emotions from dominating me, leading to wrong decisions taken with fear, anger, hurry, frustration.

so, in march i blown almost all my bank, several thousands euros.
i got angry, shouted, punched the wall, punched myself, broke a table, a mouse and almost a door, didnt sleep several nights, sweared against every god of every single religion in every language i know (dialects included).

but then i tried again, i went back to the original stakes, to the markets i know better. result: i retrieved my loss and in few months i had almost my full bank.
but, like someone said in a (silly) song: "ooops, i did it again."
overstaking, fear, a big quantity of bad luck, bad connection, stubborness, in-play disasters, straight bets etc.
it was july, and from july to november of this year i thought i wasnt able to trade anymore, i couldnt take a profit cause i thought it was never enough, and often turned this profit in a loss, in a neverending cycle of "boom and bust".

until november, when i touched the bottom of the hole i was digging for myself: i finished the whole bank and i was forced to use my personal money again in betfair, after i traded for years without a single deposit.
this triggered something inside me, i had back in my mind the real value of money and started again trading with my old system and old stakes.
it took a while, boom and bust, ups and downs, before i had back my confidence, my strike rate, my edge and small profits again.

the total result of 2012 was a loss -2.000.
for the first time, at the end of a year i'm forced to think that i worked every afternoon, to achieve what? to lose 2000 euros. so frustrating.
but i take it as the price i paid for a 1-year advanced trading course that tought me several new things.
now i'm doing what before i thought i could do, but didnt practically do: setting realistic objectives, limiting the stakes, taking the losses to an acceptable level to avoid freaking out and tilting.
i accept the fact that i wont become rich, but i can keep trading and at the same time keep my freelance work to have 2 sources of income.
i'm slowly rebuiling my bank and i lost that sense of invincibility that led me to disaster.
i know that trading, even when you have the edge, is like a long boxing match: even if you know that you're stronger and you'll win at the end, as soon as you low the guard the underdog can break your teeth. and when you see your own blood you start being scared, having doubts about your skills and the outcome of the match.

after the experiences of 2012, i hope that in 2013 i'll finally hit the new step in this self-developing journey.
an italian writer wrote that we should take life as a pool table and we're the balls. to reach our objective we need to avoid the obstacles, but in order to do it we need to hit the edges of the table and bounce several times.
this bounces can be hard and painful, but if we take them in positive state of mind, we can think that each of them adjusts our trajectory and leads us closer to our objectives.

so i wish all you guys, beginners and experts, all the best for this new year, in trading and in other fields or our lives!

[flok]

update after the first month:

going back to my old system and small stakes seem to be very good for my overall performance.

i think there are 3 reasons, connected between them:
- one is that, with smaller stakes, is easier to get matched and get out when i'm wrong
- the second is that i actually accept and take losses instead of only thinking about it and being paralized by anger, stubborness and fear
- the third is that i dont get very angry after a loss or some losses in a row, if they're small ones that i can retrieve, so i dont start overtrading, betting and doing many stupid things i did in the past.

checking the monthly results, after the first week without trading, from 8 to 31 january i had 3 losing sessions, 3 "draws" and all the other days were positive.
before, with bigger stakes, the monthly results were a neverending up and down of big reds and big greens. at the moment i prefer the quiet small greens that build up over the month, giving me back a part of the losses of 2012.
hope to continue in the same way the next one.

[lcredd]

Very nice results. Are you back to your best or is there better to come?

[flok]

thanks, 1 year ago my stakes/bank/profits were double than they are now, but it doesnt make sense to take risks to make big profits if then it's too stressful, i dont keep the pressure of big losses and i tilt, and in 1 day i give back to the market what i earned in several months (as i did in 2012).

in this way i'm back in my comfort zone and i'm forcing myself to not increase the stakes until i'm ready to do it, i dont want another losing year like the one that is just finished :Naughty

lcredd seeing your topic i thought that we have a similar way of trading and similar results, so good luck! (but pls dont back the horses i lay if they're going to win ahaha)

[valve]

Hi flok, just 1 question. How you can stand loss days like that 3 ones? Still hard for me. In many literature I have read, it is mentioned, that after bigger looses, much bigger profit will come. As I look at your table, that's exactly the case.

[flok]

i learnt the lesson from the disaster i made last year.
one day i lost some thousands euros: i didnt cut a loss and it became huge, the following trade i did it again cause i wanted to retrieve the first loss etc.
now, every time i'm in a losing trade, i still remember in my mind how bad i felt that day, and i do everything i can to avoid it.

if you look at my monthly result, 23 and 24 january i didnt earn anything.
actually those days i was up 100 euros, and then i lost them all in the last races.
i was very angry about it, but then i thought that 2 wasted days are better than the losses and the consequent frustration, stress, anger etc

so for 2 days in a row i took my -100 at the last race, but i thought that acting in this way sooner or later i'll save myself from another disaster, taking a -100 that would have become a -1000

[PC0845]

You are evolving, but so was Jeffrey Dahmer at one stage.

[flok]

i had to check on wikipedia who is this Jeffrey Dahmer, i thought it was a famous trader that went bankrupt or something similar... LOL

[LaffanD]

He was a famous trader, of body parts. Lord knows he went on tilt every now and then.

[lcredd]

lcredd seeing your topic i thought that we have a similar way of trading and similar results, so good luck! (but pls dont back the horses i lay if they're going to win ahaha)

Don't worry, I only lay horses that go on to win.