Joke of the day.

[Quo]

Nice to see someone is paying attention.

Certain coders should be asleep by now, or be working on the new version of TT, instead of wandering about in these meaningless corners of the forums.......me thinks

[The Geek]

Certain coders should be asleep by now, or be working on the new version of TT, instead of wandering about in these meaningless corners of the forums.......me thinks

This coder is a bit of a vampire, and has not long risen. It's better working nights as there are less distractions.

[nosferatu]

Look
postcount#38

Good one, thanks nonetheless

Oops, sorry about that.

I've checked and this one isn't there, possibly because it's really corny:

A farmer wakes up one winter morning to find all his cows covered in ice and snow. Horrified, he prays for help. A woman appears and goes from one cow to another, wrapping her arms around them, as she does so all the ice and snow melts and the cows are fine. The farmer is overjoyed. He asks the woman, "Are you an angel sent by god?" And she replies, "No, I'm THORA HIRD!"

Boom boom!

[jibiko]

[jibiko]

[Quo]

[jibiko]

[Firkinelle]

Bottle of Merlot

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of
Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a
table in a cozy little restaurant.

So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said,
'This is from the gentleman who is seated over
there,' and indicated the sender with a nod of his
head.

She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not
looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by
a note.

The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took
the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.


The note read:

For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes
in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and '7' inches in your
pants'.


After reading the note, the man
decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the
note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver
it to the lady.


It read:

'Just to let you know things
aren't always what they appear to be: I have a Ferrari
Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my
several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and
Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is
over twenty million dollars in my bank account and
portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you,
would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back....

Tiger

[jibiko]

[Firkinelle]

Wayne Rooney came home to his wife Collette after an England game and said,

"They reckon John Terry has had every England players wife except one!!"

Collette replied,

"I bet it's that Victoria Beckham, she's a stuck up cow"

[Firkinelle]

A dustman is going along the street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his dustcart.

He gets to one house and the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back but still can't see it so he knocks on the door.

Eventually a Japenese bloke answers........

" Harro", says the chappy.

"Alright mate, ....where's ya bin? " asks the dustman.

" I bin on toiret" replies the Japenese bloke looking perplexed.

Realising the Japenese fellow has misunderstood the binman smiles and says " no mate, where's ya dust bin?

" I dust bin on toiret - I told you " says the Japenese man.

" mate", says the dustman......"you're misunderstanding me - where's your wheelie bin ?"



" Ok ok " says the Japenese bloke,


" I wheelie bin havin' a wank !!! "

[Firkinelle]

Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.

The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things from a DIY shop: a can of red paint, a can of blue paint, and a shovel.'

Paddy asked, 'And what do I do with these, doc?'

The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue.

If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw", you hit her with the shovel.'

[smashieandnicey]

A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat
things. *

*The first little boy says, "Alligator."*

*"Very good, that's a big word."*

*The second boy says, "Predator."*

*"Yes, that's another big word. Well done."*

*The third boy says, "Vibrator, Miss."*

*After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That is a big word, but
it doesn't eat anything."*

*"Well my sister has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no
tomorrow!*

[jibiko]

[jibiko]